How can one describe heartbreak? According to the dictionary: "intense sorrow caused by the loss of a loved one (especially by death)." But isn't it worse than that? Doesn't it feel like you won't be able to get up again in the morning, or even in five minutes? Doesn't it feel like your whole world is crashing down on you? Leaving you out to die alone?
Welcome to the ball, friends.
I do hope you enjoy your time here.
A brunette, no older than 18 by the looks of her, sits alone on the curb, just outside what looks to be a school's gym. She is wearing a ruffled, midnight blue, sparkly dress, and a pair of silver Converse to go with it. A sign behind her, as if placed there specifically for our purposes, reads, Carus County Christian School, and it looks brand new, the stones gleaming and polished, the words etched in perfectly with the school's logo: a soaring eagle. There aren't any clouds out tonight, just a million glittering stars and a big, round moon watching her, casting a comforting glow on her back.
But it's not working.
This brunette, her long locks draped over her shoulders, is fiddling with the hem of her dress. She thinks about how beautiful it ishow beautiful it all is: the stars, the moon, the sky, the weather, the dress, the shoeseverything. She thinks that everything should've been perfect tonight. But then her heart starts to ache.
How does a perfect night turn into a dreadful one? she wonders hopelessly.
She tilts her chin upwards, her eyes taking in the multitude of sparkles, the round orb. The moon lights up the whole world around her, like a spotlight, but it does little to make her troubles cease.
Though she knows it's a sin, she pities herself. Why does everyone step all over her? Why do they think they can fool her? Why, why, why? Why do they play with her heart? Can't they see she's just a girl? Just a girl who wants to find someone who truly loves her?
Is that so much to ask?
She lists them off in her headthe heartbreaks. Starting with number one: moving to Carus. Leaving all her friends behind. Entering a new school, with new people, with horrible people, who didn't take to different, new faces. They kept to their cliques, she kept to herself, until one day, she met a friend. She and her friend had a grand time together for maybe 3 months. Then
Heartbreak number 2. The friend wanted to be like everyone else, but the girl couldn't. She tried, oh she tried, but she couldn't. Said friend then ditched her. She was alone. Again.
She shakes her head.
This is crazy, she tells herself, in a last ditch effort to stay
sane. There are people who love you.
Mom, Dad, Harry, James, they all love her. Her family.
Is that all, though?
Her heart sinks because she believes it. She believes it with all her heart: no one outside the family loves her. No one.
Someone else would beg to differ. Unfortunately, he has broken this girl's heart tonight. Unintentionally, of course. But he will have to wait for his chance.
She crawls sadly over to the grass, and lies on her back. She blinks at the stars. She wonders why they just don't come down and help her, why the moon must stay in space all the time and not aid her in her time of need. Her fingers tremble as she pushes a strand of her soft hair from her eyes. The twinkling lights in space begin to blur, the backs of her eyes get warm. She swallows desperately, but it's too late.
She hates crying. It's a sign of weakness. She hopes no one can see as she sobs and splutters and tears stream down her cheeks, leaving wet streaks behind them. Her hands work furiously to swipe the tears away, but their effect is minute. She doesn't want to want someone to come out, and look her in the eyes, and ask her what's wrong. But she wants it so badly that it hurts. She wants him to come out of the gym. To kneel beside her and tilt her chin so her face is just inches is from his, and ask why she's crying.
But as she lies there, no one comes. No one seems to notice that she's left the dance. Why does she care so much about her friends, when they couldn't care less about her? Why is she the one on the receiving end of the pain?
Everything will be alright now, alright.
Everything will be alright now, alright.
She repeats Bruno Merz's lyrics in her head over and over, but she sobs harder because she knows it's not working. It worked in ninth grade. Not anymore. Not when her heartbreaks have multiplied so much.
She squeezes her eyes shut, and on the screens that are the back of her eyelids, she sees herself on a cliff. The very edge. What this edge symbolizes, she doesn't know. Maybe it's sanity.
She falls. Not by accident. She chooses to step off. She wants to forget everything this world has served her on the platter of suffering. She chooses to forget. She doesn't wanna die. She just wants to escape. The cliff, she knows, isn't even real. What's the harm? She wonders what will happen, but she hopes that something will. Something to change how she's been living.
Her body flails in the air as she descends quickly, quickly, faster and faster, the green grass rushing to meet her
That's when she hears footsteps in the parking lot. They're moving swiftly, directly, dead-set on an unknown purpose. The girl's eyes fly open, and she falls silent, swiping her tears away frantically. Her face is still wet when she sees the figure kneel beside her and study her.
"Are you okay?" he asks, his round blue eyes gleaming in the moonlight.
She doesn't recognize his face, so she plasters on a small smile and answers, "Yeah."
He blinks once, then takes her hand and pulls her up into a sitting position. His eyes bore into hers, like he can see through her right into her brain, like he can read her mind. For a moment, neither of them speaks. She waits, thinking about how adorable he is and how his eyes glitter in the night.
And then he says something remarkable.
"Tell me the truth."
Her eyes widen. No one's ever persisted before. Even when they knew she definitely wasn't okay, even when they knew she was shattered, they left it at that first 'yeah'. She doesn't know what to say.
"Tell me the truth," he says again, as if sensing her loss for words.
"No," she whispers, stunned. "I am not okay."
But she knows it's too late. She knows she's too far gone now to be saved. She wonders if he knows. She wonders if he knows that to escape the past, you have to get out. The exit sign above the door reads, 'insanity'.
who are you?" she asks timidly.
A breeze tosses his blond hair around his face, and his expression is unreadable. She listens to the rustling of the leaves on the trees for just a second. Butterflies pound her stomach, trying to get out. When the wind dies down, he offers her a friendly smile.
"Caleb. And you are
"Callie." She takes a deep breath. But what does she have to lose by telling him this? Nothing. "My heart was broken." She hopes to God he won't laugh.
He doesn't. And that's when she knows. That's when she knows that everything will be alright. Caleb will save her.
Callie tilts her head at him, and asks him why he's here.